169: Tricks are for Kids: 7 Mind Games to Stop Playing in Your Relationships

Sep 5, 2023

Tricks are for Kids: 7 Mind Games to Stop Playing in Your Relationships

In this episode, we’re discussing the relationship mind games people play and how to kick these detrimental relational habits to the curb. Just like clutter in our physical space, bad relationship habits (like mind games) clutter our emotional world and hinder the path to fulfilling connections. Today, I want to help you recognize these habits, understand the damage they create, and most importantly, replace them with healthier and more authentic methods of communication.

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Tricks are for Kids: 7 Mind Games to Stop Playing in Your Relationship

Seven Relationship Mind Games:

The ‘Read My Mind’ Game: You know this game. It’s when you or your partner behave in a way that communicates: “I’m not gonna tell you what I’m thinking. I’m not gonna tell you what I want.” Expecting your partner to be a mind reader leads to miscommunication and misunderstandings.
The Playing Hard to Get Game: Playing hard to get is when a person strings along his/her partner or potential partner instead of being straight with him/her. People play this game because they feel it will make them more appealing. Newsflash, it doesn’t. Manipulating emotions by pretending to be less interested than you are only disrupts authentic connections and often backfires.
The Silent Treatment Game: The silent treatment can be just as harmful as yelling and screaming at your partner. Using silence as a weapon causes disconnection and emotional harm.
The Pretending to Be Mad Game: This game entails exaggerating emotions or grievances instead of having honest communication. This almost always leads to escalating conflicts.
The ‘I Don’t Care’ Game: This game is a classic, especially among passive-aggressive partners. “I don’t care. Whatever you want, nope, doesn’t bother me. That’s fine.” Phrases like these and faking indifference when you genuinely care only further suppress emotions and cause confusion.
The ‘I’ma Make You Jealous’ Game: When partners try to make each other jealous, it is detrimental because you sow insecurity in your marriage or relationship. Using jealousy as a tool to gain power or control undermines trust and security.
The Mixed Messages Game: Saying one thing while your body language conveys something else leads to confusion and mistrust. Instead of allowing your non-verbal communication to send mixed messages with your verbal communication, it’s best to just say what you truly feel.

7 Better Communication Tips Instead of Playing Relationship Mind Games

Have Honest Conversations

Decide what (or who) you want

Get over past hurts / emotional baggage (see link to episode below)

Learn how relationships work

Set and enforce relationship boundaries

Lead the way (model the behavior you want)

Get out – when all else fails, you may need to decide to leave the relationship

These insights help you identify and break free from those bad relationship games. To dive deeper into this topic, be sure to listen to the full podcast episode.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE

Last week’s episode – Releasing the Weight We Carry from Relationship Baggage

Episode 63 How Apathy is Silently Killing Your Marriage

Learn more about premarital counseling here.

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Connect with Dana on Instagram @mrsdanache or on Facebook @Thrive Relationships.

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