7 Reasons to Nix Sex Before Marriage – a Non-Religious & Fresh Perspective
Are we really talking about sex before marriage? And what’s the big deal, anyway? Friends, today, we are going there. We are talking about a subject that is highly controversial and highly opinionated. I will share my opinions about why I believe sex is best reserved for marriage, but I will also share some research, and all of this will be from a non-faith-based perspective.
We often discuss married sex on this podcast; it’s just a part of marriage, nothing to be ashamed of. But today, we’re talking about seven reasons why you need to nix sex before marriage. And while this episode provides a non-religious perspective, I am not ashamed of my Christian faith. I do however serve people from various backgrounds, and I think it’s important to have conversations that are not solely from a religious perspective.
With that being said, let’s dive into the reasons to nix sex before marriage.
Why Sex Before Marriage Should Wait
- Makes Sex Commonplace: When you have sex outside of marriage, it treats sex as commonplace, like any other daily activity. It loses its mystery and specialness.
- Too Powerful for the Status of the Relationship: Sex is too powerful for the status of the relationship you’re in, especially those in early relationships. Sex before marriage can lead to heartbreak when you give something so intimate to a relationship not strong enough to handle it.
- Creates Unwanted Soul Ties: Sex creates a deep emotional and spiritual connection with someone. When you engage in sex with someone, you’re creating a soul tie, which can be challenging to break at best and heart-wrenching at worst.
- Creates Fake Intimacy: Having sex outside of marriage can create a sense of fake intimacy. It’s a short-term physical connection that doesn’t necessarily translate into genuine emotional intimacy.
- Out of Order: Having sex outside of marriage flips the natural order of building relationships. Love is the foundation for all healthy relationships. From there, it may lead to marriage and then possibly a family.
- Hinders Trust and Self-Control: Choosing to have sex outside of marriage may make it challenging to develop trust and self-control, crucial elements of a healthy relationship.
- Unwanted Pregnancy and STIs: Engaging in sex outside of marriage significantly increases the risk of unwanted pregnancies and the transmission of sexually transmitted infections.
Now, I’m going to let in you in on a truth. Obedience comes with sacrifice. There are sometimes “downsides” to our obedience or doing the right thing. Saving sex for marriage is no different. Though I believe the benefits far outweigh the negatives, we should also discuss some downsides to abstaining.
Downsides of Saving Sex for Marriage
Yes, you read the right. If we’re going to have a real conversation about the benefits of saving sex for marriage, we need to talk about some of the downsides (perceived or not). Though sex in only marriage has many upsides, there will be those who wonder if it’s worth all the trouble. There are some who have waited to have sex until marriage and don’t have beautiful fairy tales to share. So, let’s have an honest conversation about some of the drawbacks of making such an important decision. (Keep in mind, we are talking purely from a non-religious perspective).
Sexual Frustration: You might experience sexual frustration if you save sex for marriage, especially if you’ve been sexually active before and then choose to abstain.
Not Liking What You Get in Marriage: Real talk, you may find that you and your spouse have different sexual desires or needs, which could lead to challenges or even dissatisfaction in your marriage.
Will Not Make You a Better Christian: Abstaining from sex until you’re married does not automatically make you a better Christian. Being a good Christian involves many aspects of life beyond your sexual activity or lack thereof.
In conclusion, remember that there are various perspectives on this topic, and the decision to have sex before marriage is deeply personal. For those who are Christians, the Bible is clear on this topic, and God’s grace is able to empower you to discipline your desires and enjoy the freedom that discipline provides. Tune in next week where I will share some practical steps to stop having sex outside of marriage if you’ve already let the train out of the station.
LINKS MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE
How To Have The Sex Talk with Your Kids
Emotional Baggage We Carry In Relationships
Take My Free “How Connected a Partner Are You” Quiz Here. (danache.com/partnerquiz)
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