Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the divi-child-theme domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /home4/danachec/public_html/realrelationshiptalk/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6114

Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the wordpress-seo domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /home4/danachec/public_html/realrelationshiptalk/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6114

Deprecated: Hook custom_css_loaded is deprecated since version jetpack-13.5! Use WordPress Custom CSS instead. Jetpack no longer supports Custom CSS. Read the WordPress.org documentation to learn how to apply custom styles to your site: https://wordpress.org/documentation/article/styles-overview/#applying-custom-css in /home4/danachec/public_html/realrelationshiptalk/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6114
173: How to Stop Having Sex Before Marriage - If The Train Has Left the Station - Real Relationship Talk

173: How to Stop Having Sex Before Marriage – If The Train Has Left the Station

Sep 19, 2023

How to Stop Having Sex Before Marriage (If The Train Has Left the Station)

Today, we continue discussing maintaining a sex-free relationship before marriage. In the previous episode, we learned about the WHY. In this episode, we explore the HOW –  practical strategies for achieving this goal. If you missed it, be sure to catch up on last week’s episode.

To start, there is a friend of mine who is struggling with having sex before marriage. This person knows it’s not God’s best for them or their relationship, but they can’t seem to stop. They asked for my help and, specifically asked me for more solutions than just “prayer and boundaries.” They inspired this episode, and so I want to share with you some of the practical strategies I shared with them on how to stop having sex before marriage if the train has left the station (you’ve already done the deed).

how to stop having sex before marriage
  • facebook

Romans 7:15 – 8:2  So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. I dont really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I dont do it. Instead, I do what I hate. But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I cant. I want to do what is good, but I dont. I dont want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. But if I do what I dont want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love Gods law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey Gods law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin. So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.

How to Stop Having Sex Before Marriage:

1. Let Go of Shame

Shame is never productive. We emphasized the importance of shedding shame associated with past actions and understanding that guilt can be a guide for positive change.

2. Shift Your Focus

Whatever you focus on gets stronger. Redirecting your attention from physical intimacy to a greater purpose or “why” for abstaining is crucial.

3. Identify Your Triggers

Recognizing the situations or emotions that trigger desires for intimacy can help you better prepare and resist temptation.

4. Employ Common Sense

Practical boundaries and common-sense decisions can prevent inadvertent escalation of intimacy.

5. Play Offense, Not Defense

Developing a proactive strategy for abstaining, such as creative date ideas that don’t involve private spaces, is essential.

6. Don’t Go It Alone

Engage friends, family, or other couples who share your commitment to a sex-free relationship. Accountability and support are essential.

7. Change Your Environment

Your external factors, including friends, music, movies, and surroundings, can influence your behavior. Make changes that align with your commitment to a sex-free relationship. 

Changing Your Environment

Changing your environment isn’t limited to physical spaces; it extends to the people, media, and influences surrounding you. Consider altering the following:

  • Friendships: Surround yourself with supportive friends who align with your goals.
  • Social Activities: Choose venues and events that don’t trigger temptation.
  • Media Consumption: Be mindful of the music, movies, and books you engage with, as they can affect your desires.

Remember that these changes are driven by your “why” and a desire for a healthier, less sexually focused relationship.

Prayer as a Powerful Tool

While providing strategies beyond the usual Christian cliches was a goal, we must recognize the vital role of prayer. Prayer offers guidance and support, particularly for those with a Christian faith. Trust that God will provide a way out when you’re tempted.

1 Corinthians 10:13 The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure. 

This scripture reminds us that temptations are common to all but manageable with God’s help. However, it’s crucial to act on the answers received through prayer.

Connect and Seek Support:

Feel free to reach out via DM on Instagram and Facebook if you have questions or need assistance with any of the strategies mentioned.

Thank you for joining us on this episode of Real Relationship Talk, where we believe that a good relationship is one where you put in the work. Stay tuned for more insightful episodes in the future.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE 

Last week’s episode- 7 reasons to nix sex before marriage

1 on 1 coaching with Dana Che

SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT 

To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Follow & Share

Dana Che womens conference speaker

Dana Che Speaks!

Looking for a speaker for your next event? Tired of boring keynotes? Tell us about your next event, and it’ll be all she wrote!

connected partners in marriage

How Connected a Partner Are YOU?

Take the FREE quiz to find out! Plus, learn how to deepen the connection in your relationship.

Conversations

0 Comments

Share This

Share This

Share this post with your friends!