Jada Pinkett Smith & Living Separate While Married

Before deciding to divorce, some couples ponder living separately while married. With the recent revelations by Jada Pinkett Smith about her in-home separation from Will Smith, we’re discussing the pros and cons of living apart while married, including my own experiences and insights about when Shaun and I “separated” within our marriage.

Jada Pinkett Smith’s new book, Worthy, reveals that Jada and Will Smith have been separated for seven years, although not divorced. People have many questions about the concept of in-home separation in marriages, and this episode helps to address some of those.

We’ll discuss setting boundaries and other key takeaways and steps to take to repair your relationship.

Key Take-Aways of Living Apart While Married

In-Home Separation: It’s best to set boundaries and parameters if you live separately while married. i.e., How long will you and your partner live separated while married (two weeks, six months)? Will you have separate bathrooms? Deciding which household responsibilities are whose. Are you just living as roommates? Is the purpose of the in-home separation to mend the relationship or to end the relationship and prepare for divorce? 

Purpose of Marriage: What is the purpose of marriage? The purpose of marriage is oneness. We are learning how to become one with someone different. Different upbringing, culture, ideas, ways of communicating. The beauty of marriage is two separate people who become one. Consider the real purpose of marriage before you decide to separate.

Seeking Help: If you are considering living separately while married, seek help from a marriage coach, a pastor, or other mentors who can help guide you. Seeking help can provide a different perspective and help couples mend their relationships. A separation isn’t a holiday; it’s a time to reflect and work on your baggage.

Don’t Care What People Think: Don’t stay in a marriage because of societal expectations or fear of what people might think. Focusing on the relationship’s health rather than external opinions is essential. Let the time spent in the relationship motivate you to repair your relationship not what people think of your marriage. 

Don’t Give Up: I believe in most cases, your marriage still has life in it. Don’t give up on your marriage quickly. With effort, work, and a willingness to change, marriages can often be mended. Don’t be discouraged; if one person makes a real concentrated and intentional effort to work on themselves, your marriage can change. 

Reach out for help if you’re experiencing marital issues. I am a relationship coach, but it doesn’t have to be me. Reach out to a pastor at your church or a couple whose marriage you respect in your community.  A good relationship is not one that works. A good relationship is one where you put in the work.

ALSO LISTEN TO: How to Know When It’s Time to Divorce

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