215: Valentine’s Day Solutions for Struggling Marriages: 5 Tips to Reconnection

Feb 13, 2024

Valentine’s Day Solutions for Struggling Marriages: 5 Tips to Reconnection

Valentine’s Day is often considered a time for celebrating love and relationships. However, for many couples, this holiday can become a challenging reminder of the struggles they are facing in their marriage. In this episode, I share insights on navigating Valentine’s Day in the midst of a struggling marriage and offer five practical tips to help married couples rekindle their connection and find joy in their relationship once more.

valentines day ideas for struggling marriages

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Lighten the Load through Laughter

The power of humor can be revelatory in diffusing tension and bringing lightness to a strained marriage. By finding moments to share laughter with your spouse, whether it’s through watching a comedy special, telling jokes, or indulging in lighthearted activities, you can create an atmosphere of warmth and ease amidst the challenges.

Spend Time with Your Little Loves

Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be exclusively focused on romantic gestures between partners. In situations where couples have children or close friends who’ve been instrumental in their lives, I suggest making the celebration a family affair. By including your children (even older children), you can turn a tense moment into a tender one. Another idea is to bless another couple that has meant something in your marriage. By doing this, couples can spread love and connection throughout their immediate circle, fostering a sense of togetherness and inclusivity.

Face Your Challenges Head-On

Rather than avoiding the issues that have been straining the relationship, address your concerns directly, especially on Valentine’s Day. By acknowledging the existing tensions and committing to open, honest communication, you can use this occasion as an opportunity to resolve conflicts, reconnect, and set the stage for a new chapter in your marriage. Don’t avoid the elephant in the room; eat the elephant!

Do Something Different

Break away from your normal routine. This one change can breathe new life into a struggling marriage. I advocate for couples to step out of their comfort zones and infuse novelty into their Valentine’s Day celebrations. Whether it’s embarking on an adventure, engaging in a new activity, or revisiting a cherished memory from the past, doing something unique can stimulate excitement and create lasting, positive memories.

Love Anyway

Perhaps the most crucial of all, I emphasize the significance of loving your partner despite your marriage problems and your feelings (or lack thereof). Writing a heartfelt letter, expressing gratitude, and rekindling the reasons that ignited love in the first place are potent ways of rekindling the embers of affection within a relationship. By choosing to love sincerely and unconditionally, couples can lay down a foundation of trust and resilience that paves the way for renewed closeness.

My prayer and hope is that this practical advice transcends the conventional view of Valentine’s Day and urges couples to look beyond the commercialized aspects of the holiday and focus on the true essence of love itself. These suggestions are not quick fixes, but rather habits that need consistent nurturing to sustain a healthy and fulfilling relationship. If you are navigating particularly troubling times in your marriage, reach out for marriage coaching or join a support group, such as Thrive Wives. These resources can provide invaluable guidance and nurture your relationship.

By choosing to embrace these empowering tips, married couples can move past the struggles and rediscover the joy and fulfillment that initially drew them together. Remember, love is not just about grand gestures on Valentine’s Day, but a continuous commitment to nurturing and strengthening the bond between two people.