And Then There Were Five
Today marks a new season for #TeamWilliams. We went from party of six to party of five, and I don’t know how I feel about that. Chris, our oldest moved out today. And if I can be totally honest with you, it wasn’t on the best terms. It’s been a long time coming. He needs to spread his wings and find his path in this great world. Sometimes a mama bird has to kick her baby bird out of the nest in order for it to fly. Still, I must admit, I am sad today.
I walked by Chris’s empty room and literally heard his little baby voice singing along to Bear in the Big Blue House. That was one of his favorite shows when he was a little mini. That and Blue’s Clues, Barney and Winnie the Pooh. Ahhh, now I’m reminiscing. As a parent, I knew this day would eventually come, but you’re never really prepared for it. Chris has been my road dog since I was 17. That’s right, I was 17 years-old when I had him. We practically grew up together. And thought it was 20 years ago when I first laid my eyes on his chubby little face, it seems like just yesterday that I was in the hospital frantically trying to figure out how to nurse him. It was just yesterday when his chunky little feet took their first steps across our apartment floor. Only yesterday did he courageously head off to preschool like Mommy’s big boy. And now he’s headed out into the world as a man. Wow.
Parents, I know it sounds so cliché, but they grow up so fast! I think of reading him Bible stories before I kissed him goodnight, fearfully dropping him off at his first sleepover, and watching the sheer joy on his face when Shaun and I bought him his first real gaming system. Looking back, his tumultuous teen years are a distant memory. The good definitely outweighs the bad.
Even still, not all my memories are so sentimental. I was an angry mom for a long time. Because of the messiness of my marriage in Chris’s elementary years, I could hardly focus at times. Every little thing would set me off. I regret that. To be honest, some of Chris’s childhood is a blur to me. I wish I would’ve been healthier back then. I wish I wouldn’t have made such a big deal out of small things. I wish I didn’t allow fear to choose for me. I wish I could redeem the time. As I write this, Cayla is in her room, and I hear the sounds of my two youngest sons, Corey and Collin, playing gleefully downstairs. And I know this season won’t last much longer. Pretty soon, I’ll be watching them, too, pack their bags and head off to college or wherever their journey takes them. And I’ll be sad then, too.
Dang. I just listened to the YouTube video of Bear and the Big Blue House’s good-bye song.
Would you oblige me for a moment and listen to it with me in solidarity?
Bear in the Big Blue House Good-Bye Song Lyrics [YouTube]
Hey, this was really fun
We hope you liked it too
Seems like we’ve just begun
When suddenly we’re through
Goodbye, goodbye, good friends, goodbye
Cause now it’s time to go
But, hey, I say, well, that’s OK
Cause we’ll see you very soon, I know
Very soon, I know
Goodbye, goodbye, good friends, goodbye
And tomorrow, just like today
The moon, the bear and the Big Blue House
We’ll be waiting for you to come and play
To come and play, to come and play
Bye now!
As I look at the empty walls where Chris’s posters, school, and sports certificates used to hang, I know he will be okay. He’s smart, he’s talented, and he’s got a great work ethic. I just pray that all the nuggets we’ve tried to teach him through the years will remain and that God will be with him in every season. Say a prayer for his mama, would you?
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