Couples Play with Date Nights & Getaways

by Guest Blogger Dana Bell

Not long after getting married, I received some unsolicited yet wise advice from a former co-worker concerning couples play.

“Keep things lighthearted and fun,” she said.

Ten years of marriage later, and I still recall her simple words of wisdom whenever the relationship trials and challenges of everyday life creep up in an attempt to weigh our marriage down.

The process of two becoming one seems to be a never-ending one. Add to that the serious business of building a life together.  Juggling the taxing tasks that go hand-in-hand with adulting: trying to find the balance between work and home life, raising kids, paying off debt, buying a house, saving for retirement, and on and on and on . . . It can be downright daunting!

In the midst of trying to keep our heads above water, it’s easy for us married couples to lose sight of each other. That’s why anyone with skin in the marriage game knows that it takes a lot of work to maintain a healthy relationship. But what’s less frequently discussed is that marriage also requires an equal amount of couples play.

Couples Play Saved the Day

It’s been no small feat, but throughout the years, my husband and I have been able to build a resilient marriage that’s withstood its fair share of storms. Not only that, but we’ve also managed to become better friends in the process.

My husband and I are by no means marriage experts. We definitely don’t have everything figured out, but we’ve learned that in addition to our relationship with God, our ability to prioritize time for lighthearted fun is essential for our marriage. Frequent couples getaways and date nights has made a world of difference.

During our years together, we’ve traveled to 19 countries as a couple. We have had countless date nights, and we’ve enjoyed a lifetime of adventures. Still, we haven’t even scratched the surface! But more importantly, we’ve realized that by engaging in couples’ playtime, we have, in fact, been putting in the work that a successful marriage requires. The following are a few benefits that romantic getaways and date nights can have for your marriage.

The following are a few benefits of keeping your marriage lighthearted and fun with romantic getaways and frequent date nights.

Uninhibited Communication

It’s funny how traveling and even engaging in new activities locally can help bring our walls down. New experiences enrich our lives because they give us the opportunity to explore life outside of our everyday norms, and they allow us to be different – oftentimes better – versions of ourselves. For these reasons, uninhibited communication with your love is often easier while you’re vacationing or enjoying a romantic date night together.

My husband and I have found that conversations that were once difficult to have are easier on date night. It’s something about dealing with the pressures of our daily lives that seem less complicated while relaxing on a beach under a palm tree or while indulging in a fabulous meal at one of our favorite restaurants.

A Fresh Perspective

Switching up our environment and exposing our minds to new possibilities helps us to change our focus from the way our lives are to how they can be. Romantic getaways, couples play ideas and date nights aren’t just a means of escaping our everyday realities. They’re an opportunity for couples to set new goals and envision their lives together in a whole new way.

They’re also an opportunity for couples to get a renewed outlook on life, to set new goals, and to reflect on accomplishments. My husband and I can attest to this. We’ve set some of our biggest goals –individual and family alike – while cherishing sacred time together in new settings locally and further afield.

Butterflies & Better Intimacy

Do you remember the feeling of fluttering butterflies in your belly when you and your spouse first started dating? Do you remember the electric rush of energy you used to feel whenever your love would simply look at you and smile during the early days of your relationship?

If you guys still have that loving feeling – great! But if not, traveling with your spouse and having consistent date nights together can definitely help you reignite the fire and passion you once felt for each other.

Date nights are the perfect excuse to spruce yourselves up for each other (like you did in the early days) and spend carefree time simply enjoying each other’s company. Getaways with your love have a similar effect in that they can help create feelings of euphoria while being reminded of why you fell in love with your spouse in the first place. Plus, everyone knows that fabulous greatness of vacation sex! Again, it goes back to the fact that being outside of your comfort zone while traveling has a way of helping you to let go of your usual restrictions.

Anticipation

My husband and I love couples play and take turns planning date nights. We try our best to go out with each other once a week. While my husband is more of an on a whim planner, I keep a note on my phone full of date night ideas. I add to the list as new ideas come to mind when I read or hear about new places we might find interesting. I use a similar strategy when planning our getaways, and my husband and I often talk about which activities and destinations should take priority.

Having a list of date night and getaway ideas on hand means that we always have something exciting to look forward to. This is a great morale booster when adulting gets especially difficult.

Trust & Confidence Booster

Keeping our relationship fun and lighthearted with couples play, getaways and date nights also helps to build our trust and confidence in each other. Our consistent efforts to spend quality time together are a reminder that we’re still into each other. It also reminds us that we still love being in each other’s presence. We are both still fully committed to working – and playing! – toward building a stronger, thriving marriage.

What do you and your spouse do to keep things lighthearted and fun in your marriage? How do you enjoy “couples play time” in your marriage? Please share in the comments below.

 

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Dana Carmel Bell is the founder of Couples Getaway Box, the subscription box that inspires romantic getaways and date nights for married couples. Her travel writing, photos, and useful insights and tips have been featured on the Flight Network, HuffPost, Afar, Pink Pangea, GoAbroad.com, AAA’s Westways magazine, Fathom, and Club Traveler, a Hilton Grand Vacations publication, to name a few. She enjoys spending as much free time as possible traveling and enjoying everyday moments with her husband and toddler daughter. You can tag along with Dana and her husband on their date nights by following @datenightbells on Instagram.