Finding Freedom from Sexual Abuse

The following stories are fictitious. It is my hope that they help you to find freedom from sexual abuse. 

Debbie tucked her head toward her bent knees, allowing her long, brown hair extensions to fall around her waist. She squeezed her knees tightly to her chest and rocked back and forth on the cold, hardwood floor beside her messy bed.

How could I have been so stupid?

She bit her lip, hoping the blood that now trickled down her chin, could somehow ease the pain ricocheting throughout her body.

She fought a silent war with the tears that threatened to disarm her tough exterior. She would not cry. She could not cry. She felt as numb as a broken ankle wrapped in a bag of ice.

The buzzing of her cellphone on the hardwood floor jolted her out of her dismay.

I Love You.

The words appeared across the phone’s screen underneath Brandon’s name. She kicked the phone across the room and gave way to the torrent of wild emotions that barraged her torn soul.

“Arrrghhhhh!!!! I said NO!”

Debbie screamed so loud she was sure she had burst her eardrums.

How could he have forced himself on her? She had trusted him and broke down her wall. Apparently, he never really loved her after all.

____________________

Alissa’s heartbeat uncontrollably as her stepfather leaned down to give her mom a kiss. She stared down at the chipped purple nail polish on her tender, young hands. Those dirty hands—hands that were forced to touch things no child should ever have to.

She could feel him staring at her, and sure enough, when she lifted her sad eyes, his piercing eyes dared her to speak.

Alissa began rubbing her hands underneath the dining room chair that her bruised bottom sat on. She could hear the wall clock ticking behind her, and with every passing second, she grew more and more afraid of what was to come.

“Alright, sweetie. I’m headed to work. Be a good girl for Ron.” Her mother kissed her forehead and grabbed her coat from the closet, having no idea she was leaving her precious daughter in the care of a monster.

As soon as the door closed, Ron’s lips curved in a ghastly grin, and Alissa knew. Her torment had just begun.

____________________

Sexual Assault Awareness

“Every 73 seconds, an American is sexually assaulted, and every 9 minutes, that victim is a child,” reports RAINN ((Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network). Sexual assault is so prevalent in our country that nearly all of us either know someone who has been sexually abused or we, ourselves, have been. Sadly, the vast majority of these cases go unreported.

April is National Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and I want to highlight it by way of telling these very relatable stories. In the first short story, we meet Debbie, who has just been raped by her boyfriend in her bedroom after the two of them had been fooling around. Her boyfriend began to advance things way faster than Debbie agreed, and although she repeatedly told him no, he forced himself on her anyway.

Statistics show that 51% of female victims are raped by an intimate partner. That’s a staggering number. Women are being sexually violated by the person she likely trusts the most. Because of this, many women never speak out about their tragedies. Societal stigmas exacerbate the problem by shaming women for their choices. Like Debbie, most women in this situation will often blame herself and internalize the pain and the shame until it, like a cancerous tumor, begins to infect every part of her soul.

Just as disturbing, if not more, is 1 out of 3 girls and 1 out of 5 boys will be sexually abused before they reach age 18, according to Dosomething.org. Let me say that again: one in three little girls. Girls like Alissa whose mother is trying to make ends meet and leaves her alone with a perverted stepfather who ruins her life.

Chances are high that if you’re a woman reading this, you have experienced firsthand Alissa’s anguish or Debbie’s distress . . . or God forbid, both. And maybe, you’ve never told a soul. Maybe you’ve tried to put it behind you or you’ve chosen to block it out of your memory. But the wound of sexual assault doesn’t go away untreated.

I could go on and on about the effects of burying this kind of trauma: from increased problems at work or school, moderate to severe distress, lack of trust in your relationships and marriage, increased insecurity, suicidal thoughts and more. But chances are you already know this because you are living it.

Find Freedom from Sexual Abuse

My heart breaks when I think of all the women who are still held captive by sexual trauma . . . women who have yet to find freedom from sexual abuse. In stark contrast, the words of Christ can break through even the most fortified heart: “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed” (John 8:36). Jesus wants you to be free from the trauma of sexual assault. He hates that it happened, and he is ready and willing to heal you from it.

The first step to disarming the captor is to tell your story. Organizations like RAINN are a great place to start. Or maybe you have a trusted friend, counselor, pastor, or leader you can tell. But sister, please, say something. Don’t allow the unspoken undercurrent of abuse to rob you of your peace or joy any longer. And if you’ve never heard these words, please hear me: It.Was.Not.Your.Fault. Not one bit of it.

It’s my prayer that this little blog post will help start you or someone you know on the journey of healing. This isn’t a destination you should take alone. God often uses safe people as a healing agent for our ails. So, again, please reach out. You are worth it, and you deserve to live free from the shame and trauma of sexual assault.

 

The Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network (RAINN), organizes the National Sexual Assault Telephone Hotline. The Hotline is a referral service that can put you in contact with your local rape crisis center. You can call the Hotline at 1-800-656-4673, or access RAINN’s online chat service.