Ep. 19 – How to be Heard in Your Marriage or Relationship

Dec 22, 2020

How to Be Heard in Your Marriage or Relationship

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When Shaun and I first got married, we struggled so much with our communication and wondered how to be heard by the other. So, Shaun came up with the brilliant idea to begin a communication notebook to help us verbally process our feelings with one another. It was a chance to express our feelings without interruption. It also allowed us to be honest with one another without fear of being misunderstood.

In this episode, we’re sharing creative solutions on how to be heard in your marriage or relationship to stop back-and-forth misunderstandings and ineffective communication.

Oftentimes we can’t move forward in our marriages or relationships because of communication barriers. Depending on your communication style, one spouse may need more time to process their emotions while the other spouse may be quick to respond.

The Key to Being Heard in Your Marriage

The key to being heard in your marriage or relationship is allowing grace for each person to communicate how they are wired best and truly making an effort to hear not only what’s being said, but the heart behind what’s being said.

If you are married with kids, you have surely experienced disagreements with how to be heard by your spouse when you disagree with each other’s parenting styles or decisions. This can be so tricky because each spouse has their own perspective, values, and ways of doing things. If you’re not careful, your children can come between you, driving a deeper wedge in your communication. To combat this, Shaun and I decided long ago that it’s us against the kids. We love our kids, of course, but we are careful to not allow them to come between our relationship.

If one parent is the stronger disciplinarian, the other parent has to decide if you want to be right or if you want to be reconciled. Do you want your parenting issues to actually become communication issues between you and your spouse? Choose to back your spouse, especially in front of the kids. If necessary, the two of you can have a further discussion out of their earshot at a later time to discuss the situation further.

At the end of the day, we all want to be heard. We all want our voices and feelings to matter. It is my hope that after you listen to this episode, you will feel more confident in allowing your voice to be heard and hearing the voice of your spouse, and becoming creative with solutions that will better your marriage.