How to Mend a Broken Heart

The one thing we lovers all have in common is that we know what it’s like to have a broken heart.  You know, that feeling of having your chest ripped open and your fragile heart ripped into pieces, lit on fire and hot bleach poured over it? If you’re like 80% of adults (according to a YouGov survey), you know exactly what I’m talking about.

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I heard from a friend yesterday who went through a very painful divorce. She met someone new. As I typed my congratulations on her social media post, I couldn’t help the smirk that tilted my lips. She’s on the other side of the pain. God still heals broken hearts.

Do you remember the first time your heart was broken? I sure do. At the time, I thought the pain would never end. I cried so much that there were literally no tears left. As I squeezed my pillow, chest heaving, head pounding, I didn’t know how I would make it to tomorrow. Can you relate?

How Most of Us Heal a Broken Heart

What do most of us do when we have a broken heart? Well, if you’re like me, you eat the junkiest ice cream you can find, find some sappy romance movie on Netflix and turn your phone off. But then you turn it back on in case he calls or texts. Surely he must be thinking of you, because Lord knows, you’re thinking of him. But he doesn’t call or even text. The hurt turns into anger, and back to the fridge you go. Your imagination is running wild as you check your phone again. Letting go is so very hard.

Holding on to unforgiveness is like shooting yourself in the chest and expecting the other person to get hurt.

How You Should Heal a Broken Heart

Whoever said, “Time heals all wounds,” was highly inaccurate. Time alone doesn’t heal. I know some very bitter old ladies. Time has done little for them. I do believe, though, that there are tools in the emotional first aid kit that will help.

• Honesty– Processing your feelings authentically can do wonders for your broken heart. Scream it out. Cry it out. Just be sure to let it out.
• Support– When we’re hurt, we tend to isolate. Resist this. Find a trusted friend or friends or even a therapist and let them hold you up.
• Forgiveness– I know . . . easier said than done, but at the end of the day, forgiveness is for you. Holding on to unforgiveness is like shooting yourself in the chest and expecting the other person to get hurt.
• Laughter– The last thing we usually want to do when we’re hurting is to laugh, but laughter does our hearts good.
• Hope– You will love again. You will be loved again. Don’t allow the pain to define you; let it refine you.

I made it to my tomorrow. God eventually healed my broken heart and restored my marriage. More importantly, though, he restored me. One last thing: be careful what/who you listen to and what you say. I had to fill my mind with God’s words—words like “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18)” When I prayed, I would say those words out loud until I believed them.

Don’t allow the pain to define you; let it refine you.

So, although you may be nursing a broken heart, know that this is not your final destination. There is joy and beauty on the horizon. The sun rises every morning. Listen to the song in the video below. You will get through this. One. Day. At. A. Time.