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Human Connection: Why We Can’t Live Without It

Relationships. We all have them, and no matter how we might convince ourselves otherwise, we all need them. The ability to “humanly connect” by creating and nurturing healthy relationships with other people is a vital social trait. As a matter of fact, did you know that if babies do not connect physically with another human being (by being touched or held), they can actually die? Human connection is so important that one of the harshest punishments in prison is solitary confinement—being totally cut off from all human interaction.

When I think about my most intimate relationships—with God, my husband, my kids and my best friends—there’s one thing they all have in common . . . besides me of course. It’s that they each took time to build.

I met Shaun when I was around five. Our families attended the same church. He loves to tell this story of how 8-year-old Dana kissed him on the cheek and ran. I have no recollection of that little incident, although it wouldn’t surprise me. My 8-year-old lips had already kissed a boy or two. Hey, no judging . . . I had older siblings.

Anyway, who would have ever thought we’d grow up and get married? Shaun is 3 ½ years older than me and actually used to “date” my sister. Remember, we’re not judging all right? To my credit, though, they were like 15; it was hardly serious.

Anyhoo, as we began to spend more time together, our mutual friends paired us up. We attended a small, Christian school, and let’s just say black people were a bit of endangered specie. If you were one of the five black females at the school, you were prepared to be match-made with one of the ten black males. So Shaun and I were kind of forced into our situation.

But the more time we spent connecting, realizing we shared a lot of the same relationship values, learning about each others likes and dislikes, habits, etc., the closer we became. The problem in today’s relationships is people don’t take the time to emotionally connect anymore. Sites like Tinder and other dating sites have taken priority over good old-fashioned dating. Now, I’m well aware that several people find their spouses online (probably not through Tinder, though). So there’s nothing wrong with online dating.

However, today people are jumping in bed with each other before they even know each other’s last names. Totally no emotional connection there. It’s no wonder why many relationships lack authenticity and intimacy. Real human connection takes time, and real intimacy is what gives your relationships staying power when things get rough.

I want to help people discover how to have healthy human connections or reconnections in relationships. That’s what this site is all about—real talk about relationships with the ones that matter the most. So stay connected my friends. Let’s never settle for the fake when we can have the real.