The Power of Forgiveness in Relationships: Release Them, Restore You (Relationship Mistakes Series)

If you’ve been in a real relationship with someone, chances are that person has likely offended or hurt you at some point and you’ve had to choose to forgive . . . or not. Sadly, many relationships end not because of an offense but because of the offended person’s inability to forgive. Forgiving someone who hurt you isn’t easy. As a matter of fact, the closer the relationship, the harder it is, sometimes, to extend forgiveness.

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In this podcast episode, my husband, Shaun, and I share our own experiences on times when we chose forgiveness. And, newsflash, it is work! However, there are a few quotes that I hang onto when I’m tempted to hold on to an offense and withhold forgiveness from someone: First, Nelson Mandela writes in his book, Long Walk to Freedom, “As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.” That.Is.Deep. When you choose to walk in forgiveness, you are literally walking out of a prison cell yourself. On the contrary, when you choose to hold on to unforgiveness, you remain locked in a prison cell of your own choosing.

The Power to Forgive

Secondly, Martin Luther King Jr. reminds us that, “He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love.” You can’t really say you love someone if you aren’t willing to forgive him/her.

Lastly, the words of Jesus Christ himself should send shivers down our spine when we realize that, “But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:5). I don’t know about you, but unforgiveness is a cost that I am unwilling to pay. It’s too expensive! Holding on to unforgiveness costs you true joy, peace, and relational wholeness. It just isn’t worth it.

As a reminder, on each episode, I will be answering a listener question on a segment I’m calling Q & A with Dana Che. Today’s question comes from an anonymous Facebook listener who wrote, “My wife and I have been struggling to rebuild our marriage for a long time. I am starting to lose hope. I don’t think I will ever be able to trust her again even though I am desperately trying. How can I trust her when she keeps things from me?” What a loaded question. You’ll have to be sure to tune in to the end of the podcast for my answer. Hint, hint, we covered this in detail in episode 3: Rebuilding Our Marriage, Rebuilding Trust.

Download your free e-book:  The 5 Relationship Mistakes that are Wrecking Your Life.

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