Spousal Support Tips– Part 2

If you haven’t read part one of my blog, be sure to catch up on “Get the Spousal Support You Deserve,”  here. So many times, we think we are being supportive of our spouses while they feel the exact opposite. That’s why communication is so important in relationships. Don’t be afraid to have those hard conversations. They only help you grow. Let’s continue with our conversation on the following spousal support tips:

Spousal Support Tips

1. Believe the best.

I think this is key. What you really believe about your spouse will come to light when they start discussing their dreams. Are you secretly in competition with him/her? Do you feel he/she is irresponsible? Do you think his/her ideas are whack? Are you fearful or suspicious of his/her motives? Choose to believe the best about your spouse. This is one of the best ways to offer support.

2. Offer encouragement first. Ask questions later.

Have you heard of the sandwich method for communication? Basically, it’s beginning a conversation that might include conflict with a positive statement, then inserting a concern or constructive criticism and finally ending with another positive statement.

So, if your spouse says they want to take out a business loan for $40,000 and you aren’t cool with that, you could say . . .

“Wow, you always go hard after your goals. I love that about you.” (Positive)

“But that is quite a bit of money to borrow. I’m afraid to take out such a large loan.” (Issue of concern)

“I imagine you’ve thought this out though. I can trust you to make the best decision for our family.” (Positive)

3. Be excited.

Okay, now when I say be excited, I don’t mean jump for joy. What makes our spouses feel supported is when we know we have our partners’ buy-in. Be genuinely interested in your spouse’s idea. Ask good questions. Cheer him/her on.

4. Ask for ways you can help.

Another way for you to show good spousal support is to ask for practical ways you can help. Your spouse might ask you to pray, give financially, volunteer (this is starting to sound like a church service, LOL) or support in another way. Just be willing to have an open mind and help where you can.

5. Follow up.

Nothing shows you’re genuinely interested in something like follow up. Give the idea a week or so and then follow up to see how things are going. Your spouse will appreciate you for this.

Okay, it’s your turn. Do you have a problem offering spousal support and are willing to share about it? If not, what are some other spousal support tips that work for you? I’d love it if you’d share your thoughts below.